Happily Domestic

Thoughts on homeschooling

When I tell people that I'm going to homeschool I often get an, "oh wow, I could never do that" or something that implies that what I'm doing is going to be incredibly difficult (and what do I know, I haven't really started yet). But why do I feel like I'm the one stepping off the crazy track?  Even for preschool there is always pressure to be involved.. there is always a fundraiser or party to prepare for.  I always felt like the slacker mom, but I'm thinking, "I take them there for a break!".  All of that on top of the driving.. the two days I sent them to school I felt like I was in the car the whole day.  Drive them there, drive to run errands or come home for a bit, then drive back.. add in any extras like dance class or playdates and it gets crazy quickly.  Next year I'd be doing it every day, then add in increasingly elaborate birthday parties on the weekend, and in kindergarten there'd be homework to do when we get home, etc.  (Yes! in kindergarten!) It seems like the school stuff can get accomplished at home in a fraction of the time, and we'll all have some time to breathe a bit, and still get to do the dance or music classes without feeling stretched too thin.  I think especially with a little faith in their curiosity and the courage to chill out a bit, I think this will be the much more enjoyable path.

Chillin at barnes & noble

At the park

She's getting so big and brave!

Toddler in the kitchen

Making "mummins"

sup, yo

So I'm like totally for real excited about the new bedtime routine. We brush teeth, read, lights out, and rock to sleep at about 8 (or earlier!) every night. This dependable expanse of time kicks ass. What should I do? Read? Sew? Watch something with the hubs on our new ridiculously huge tv? Blog about how I don't know what to do with myself? Tonight I went on a walk by myself.. so weird. Now I'm sitting in my breakfast nook/computer/sewing area.. been reading blogs and such. I also painted my fingernails a weird pale pink. Fun times. I made fresh fried okra tonight (hence the walk).. it was so totally yummy and stuff.
Yesterday I started reading Rise and Shine by Anna Quindlen. Grocery stores down here tend to have a good selection of beach reading material. Anywho.. its good so far.. which is not very far, only like 40 pages.

So speaking of watching stuff on our new tv... we watched Transformers the other night. Wow, that was one BAD movie. I don't even know where to start it was so bad. Racist and sexist even.. Lots of "I know they did not just do that" moments. AW. FUL.

A new show that we do like is The Middleman on abc Family. Its completely random and ridiculous, but self-deprecating about it.. very funny. Watch it cause I said so.

Now I'm sleepy. nite nite

Picture update

Yay! A finished robe! This is for my mom for Mother's Day.. didn't finish in time to ship it.. such is life.

Beach Baby!

MMM whipped cream.. Ben made key lime pie and shrimp yesterday :)

top secret

So what you don't know about me is that I secretly write (bitch) in TextEdit because I did not intend for the title of my blog to be ironic. But this time when I opened it 4 other rants popped up... so maybe if I get some of it out in the open it'll break the cycle.. probably not, but it might make me feel better for longer. Or, someone might read this and have miraculous insight and suggestions.

In general I am confused and I go back and forth from feeling like "GRRL POWER, BIATCH! I AM MOMMY HEAR ME ROAR" to "blah, I exist outside of society, my brain is mush."
Also: on the one hand I feel like, "You know what? I do want babies and I'm not ashamed to say it. I like to cook and knit and sew, and make my house homey, and all those 'girly' things that feminism taught us were below our intelligence," but on the other hand I hate the endless hamster wheel of laundry and cleaning..

On work:
I would like to have adult conversations, and creative/intellectual stimulation.. It'd be nice to make $ too, and wear decent clothes, but not if it means daycare and being away from my baby for 8 hours a day.
I also have an inferiority complex about the fact that I never really had a 'real' job anyway or accomplished much in the way of art exhibits outside of school. So there is no going 'back' to a career because I never had one.

On community:
I think all of this would be easier if I was with other women doing the same things during the day.. like at the same time.. in my quilting-circle-sisterhood-fantasyland, but we dont live in that world.
I live in oldpeopleville. Its like an episode of twilight zone where I've somehow time warped to retirementland except I'm still young and having kids.

There is also always my concern about setting a good example for her.. being a 'whole' person and whatnot. I don't want to be a dream killer or a martyr.

I probably just need to chill the fudge out, but thats easier said than done.

(picture came from here)

Birthdays

Well we had a busy weekend.. Ladybug turned 1 on Friday! Easter was Sunday, then Monday was my birthday. Its crazy to think how much she's changed in a year. I remember that day waiting before surgery, and I was so starving because I couldn't eat from midnight on.. when I had been used to 2 or 3 breakfasts at that point :) Anyway they got me ready early, so Ben was sitting there with me flipping the TV and food network was about the only decent thing on, but that was torture, so we watched will & grace... its weird the things that stick in your mind.
I remember holding my breath waiting to hear her cry.. and how wonderful it was when she did. She felt so familiar too, like I knew her already, and she was just like I imagined. I can't believe we got a blue eyed girl.. she's so perfect. That night Ben got a crash course in changing diapers as he took such good care of both of us while I recovered.. he even helped us learn to breastfeed.
Its such a major change to your perspective on life, and dynamics as a couple.. But now its hard to remember that there was a time before she was in our life. What did we do when it was just us?
I remember my birthday a few days after.. the apartment full of people and flowers and I was more emotional and exhausted and constipated than I'd ever been in my life!
Lately, when I see Ben holding her, she looks so gigantic! Where's my baby? Its getting so fun though. We can have jibber jabber conversations, and she gets so excited about anything. She's started holding things up to her ears and jabbering like she is on the phone. She dances to the TV when Ben plays guitar hero. She is so on the verge of walking that I wouldn't be surprised if she did it today. Last night she would stand for a while, and she seemed to be practicing, holding onto the TV stand with one hand and walking. She likes to say "yeah" and "woah"... and she jabbers looking at her books. One of her favorite things to do right now is crawl around with one hand on a piece of paper or book, sliding it over the floor.. guess she likes the sound or something.
I made her a yummy cake on Thursday, and Ben was home most of the day Friday, so we ate cake and went strolling. The weather has been awesome lately. Saturday it was rainy though, so we were lazy inside, and then Sunday we went to the zoo. We had a great time. I guess we didn't do Easter really.. but she had her picture taken with the Easter Bunny at the zoo.. that counts, right ;).
I turned 28 on Monday! I'm not too concerned though.. I'm pretty content with where I am for 28. yep. Ben did some steaks on the grill and we had a nice chill evening in.
OK pictures!

The Truth Comes Out (plus a cupcake recipe)

Happily Domestic does not translate as love of cleaning.. We've all been sick too, so that hasn't helped. Hopefully these viruses are on their way out.

On Valentine's Day I did find the motivation to make the most INSANE chocolate cupcakes.. I had seen a chocolate cake recipe on the Martha show like a month ago and been thinking about it ever since. These use the same icing (whipping cream & chocolate, thats it!). Ok I need to go eat one and continue with the laundry.

Oh yeah, I found a great site yesterday: Mothers Movement

My many talents

Can you breastfeed an 18 pound baby while putting milk and sugar in your coffee, put the milk back in the fridge and then update your weblog one-handed? I think not.

I guess its been a while. Nothing new going on really. We're staying in Florida for sure now, so that has reduced my anxiety significantly. Not that this is my favorite place on earth, as I have mentioned ;) but at least we can get out of temporary mode and hopefully buy a house. I've discovered that I'm happiest when I don't have to make decisions. Even grocery shopping can be overwhelming, which is why I'm better off with a list and a familiar store. I can't deal with coupons or keeping up with what store has the best deal.. its worth the extra $ to me to keep it simple. Sanity is a high priority :).

Speaking of sanity, I've also been feeling better since the heat has let up some. There have been some nice breezy days lately. We have had monster thunderstorms in the afternoon, which I love (if I'm not driving in it), so that has cooled things off. I've finally figured out that I should get out in the morning and do housework in the afternoon, to avoid the rain and to ward off cabin fever. We'll probably go for a walk after I finish coffee.

Sooo.. since I'm gonna be a Floridian for the indefinite future here's some stuff I LIKE about it down here:
- Not having to wear socks
- Fruit trees
- the beach
- the dramatic sky
- the intensity of colors because of the light
- the diversity of the people here (compared to Al)
- upscale shopping: Norman Love, gourmet food, Adas, Sephora
- proximity to Miami: Art Basel